Overwhelming emotional distress experienced by children and teenagers during school times affects whole families, a new study showed. Researchers in the UK found that parental mental health suffered when children struggle to attend school, and 50% of affected parents developed new mental health conditions. Additionally, parents considered the experience the second most threatening life event. Vastly negative experiences with school staff, including almost 78% of parents reporting not being believed, and many feeling blamed and disempowered, were linked by parents to their significantly elevated anxiety, depressed mood, and pervasive sense of fear and dread. This highlights how systemic the issue has become in the UK, the researchers said.

In recent years, the number of students missing school has risen steeply. In the UK, one in 50 students missed more than 50% of school in 2022-23. Previously, almost 95% of sampled students were found to miss school regularly because going caused them significant emotional distress, a phenomenon known as school distress. Of this sample, many students were diagnosed with neurodivergent disorders or autism.

But how does kids struggling with school attendance affect parents? Now, in the first large-scale study that explored the familial school experience, UK researchers have examined the issue from the parents’ perspective. They published their results in Frontiers in Psychiatry.

“Supporting a child experiencing school distress is an overwhelmingly negative experience for parents,” said first author Dr Sinéad Mullally, a researcher at Newcastle University. “One in two affected parents developed a new mental health condition since their child’s difficulties started. This challenges the existing narrative that ‘school refusal’ is driven by deficient parenting or mental health difficulties of parents. It suggests it’s the experience of supporting a child with school attendance difficulties that imperils parental mental health.”

A threatening life experience

More than 1,100 parents participated in the study, of which over 700 were parents of children that currently experienced school distress and more than 200 were parents of children who experienced school distress in the past. The study also included 19 educational professionals (including school staff) and two control parent groups. Participants were asked a series of questions, including ratings of their daily mood and anxiety levels.

“Deleterious impacts were evident across all aspects of parents’ lives, including on their mental and physical health, careers, financial situation, and wider family, including their other children,” Mullally said. The results also showed that supporting a child experiencing school distress caused parents to rate their mood levels as significantly lower and their anxiety levels much higher than parents who didn’t. “Parents of children experiencing school distress perceive this experience as being one of the most threatening possible life events, superseding even a serious illness or injury to themselves,” Mullally pointed out.

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Rethinking blame

Almost 78% of parents whose kids were currently affected by school distress indicated they had their perceptions, experiences, or understanding of the situation doubted by school professionals. The team found a profound loss of trust in school staff was common. “Parental blame was found to be rife, with hostile and punitive treatment by professionals, making it even harder for families and leading to parental disempowerment,” Mullally said. “We need urgent recognition of the very real difficulties that neurodivergent children and young people, and by extension their parents, face. This is a systemic issue relating to the lack of inclusivity within the current UK education system.”

Parents indicated their greatest source of support were groups of parents with similar experiences, their own family, and friends. In addition, organizations like Not Fine in School or and Team Square Peg can be sources of support, the researcher said. Almost half of the professional group indicated they’d like more support to better help students with school distress, and 60% indicated they’d like better training.

The researchers pointed out that their sample may not be fully representative as White families were overrepresented and that families affected most might not have the time to participate in these studies, which can mean the voices of the most vulnerable may not be fully reflected. “The aim is fostering safe home-school relationships,” Mullally concluded. “We know from previous research that these relationships are key to supporting the impacted child back into education.”

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