Teenage friendships happen online as much as they do offline. The final study of a research project investigating the dynamics of adolescents’ friendships in association with their social media use examined how teens’ perception of social media norms and features could contribute to digital stress, which might result in conflicts among friends. The results showed that continuous disappointment from unmet expectations, such as friends not responding to or engaging with posts, was the strongest predictor of friendship feuds after a few months.

Friendships are critical parts of our lives. Staying in touch with friends online is crucially important, especially for teenagers. Fostering friendships online, however, takes time and might require near constant availability, which can cause digital stress that can arise when expectations on social media are not met. This in turn, can lead to conflicts among friends.

New research published in Frontiers in Digital Health by scientists in Italy highlights how social media expectations within friend groups and digital stress shape adolescent friendships and conflicts over time.

“We show that adolescents’ perceptions of social media norms and perceptions of unique features of social media contribute to digital stress, which in turn increases friendship conflicts,” said Federica Angelini, a researcher at the University of Padua and first author of the study. “Disappointment from unmet expectations on social media—such as when friends do not respond or engage as expected—is a stronger predictor of friendship conflict than the pressure to be constantly available.”

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More than 1,100 young people aged between 13 and 18 participated in the study collecting friendship and social media use data at two time points six months apart. In particular, the researchers focused on how teens’ perceived need to be constantly available (entrapment) and feelings of sadness, anger, or frustration that may arise when teens find friends aren’t available to them on social media (disappointment) might lead to digital stress and friendship conflict.

Disappointment emerged as the behavior that is most likely to lead to squabbles six months after the initial data collection. “Individuals feel let down by their friends’ availability or responsiveness online. This disappointment arises from unmet expectations and leads to negative emotions which can spill over into friendship conflicts,” Angelini said. Entrapment, on the other hand, had less impact on how often conflicts arise, which might be due to constant availability being a normalized aspect of peer relationships.

Images and videos posted to social platforms may play a particularly important role in how social media use can cause friendship conflicts, the researchers found further. “Visual content makes it easier for teens to see what their friends are doing at any given time. If teens notice that their friends are active online or spend time with others while ignoring their messages, they may feel excluded, jealous, or rejected,” Angelini explained. “This heightened awareness can intensify negative emotions and contribute to friendship tension.”

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Add friend: Building healthy friendships

The research highlights how social media expectations and digital stress shape adolescent friendships. “Identifying key stressors, for example visual content and availability expectations, and understanding dynamics of online interactions among friends can help educators, parents, and teens develop healthier online habits,” Angelini said. One such habit for teenagers could be setting boundaries, for example scheduling ‘offline’ times or managing notifications. When done in discussion with friends this can also help reduce misunderstandings. “Learning to accept that not every message requires an immediate reply can ease digital stress while maintaining healthy friendships.”

The study provides valuable insights into the inner workings of teenage friendships but has some limitations, the researchers noted. For example, it relies on self-reported assessment of teens’ social media use, which may not fully reflect the reality of social media behaviors. In addition, the six-month time span doesn’t allow for the examination of even longer-term effects. “Future research could use objective measures of social media activity and extend the timeline to better understand how digital stress and friendship conflicts evolve over time,” Angelini recommended.

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