Our teenage years are critical for social development — whether we enjoy them or not. Scientists surveyed teenagers through their adolescence, asking them about the quality of their peer relationships and how accepted they felt, and then catching up with them when they reached young adulthood to measure wellbeing. They found that, for the promotion of future wellbeing, general social acceptance was most important for teenagers aged 13-14, while 17-18 year olds needed a close circle of friends.

Being a teenager is hard, confusing — and crucially important. Scientists studying teenage socializing have found that teenaged friendships could lay essential foundations for wellbeing in later life, and that not just the kinds of friendships teenagers experience but the timing of those friendships is critical.

“A teen’s perception of how broadly socially accepted they are by their peers in early adolescence is particularly influential in predicting adult wellbeing,” said Emily Shah of the University of Arkansas, first author of the article in Frontiers in Developmental Psychology. “Conversely, in late adolescence, the quality of their more intimate close friendships is more influential for predicting adult wellbeing.”

Coming of age

Our relationships with other people affect how we feel about ourselves, how we function in society, and our psychological wellbeing; that in turn affects our physical wellbeing. This is especially true in our teenage years, when we start to rely on our peers’ support, and when puberty puts our bodies under strain. Relationships can also help manage the stressful transitions teenagers deal with, from exams to new jobs to leaving home.

“Friendships during the teenage years provide youth with one of their first forays into intimate consensual relationships,” said Dr David Szwedo of James Madison University, corresponding author. “Because friends may come and go, friendships are a context in which teens must develop skills to maintain and grow the friendship or risk its loss. These skills are likely to be subsequently helpful for forming future friendships and longer-term romantic relationships.”

The researchers recruited 184 participants attending an American middle school. They surveyed these students at ages 13-14, then again at ages 17-18, measuring the quality of their close friendships, their perceived social acceptance, and their likability as reported by their peers. Finally, the researchers caught up with these teenagers as adults aged 28-30 to ask them about their physical and mental health, job satisfaction, romantic insecurity, and experience of aggression.

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Friendships are teenagers’ foundations

Overall, the researchers found that perceived social acceptance was the best predictor of adult wellbeing. When contacted as adults, teenagers who thought their peers liked them reported lower levels of social anxiety and aggression, better physical health, professional and romantic satisfaction, and feeling more socially connected. However, likability as reported by teenagers’ peers did not predict any facet of adult wellbeing well — possibly suggesting that a teenager’s own perception of their social success is particularly important.

However, when the authors examined the two stages of adolescence separately, adult wellbeing was best predicted by social acceptance for young teenagers and close friendships for older teenagers. Close friendships predicted lower social anxiety and romantic insecurity and higher job satisfaction.

The difference between the two stages of adolescence also suggests that timing is critical. While self-perception of success could stop younger teenagers developing social anxiety, and contribute to preventing stress-linked poorer health, lower levels of social acceptance in later teenage years didn’t predict health outcomes.

You aren’t alone

The authors cautioned that, although the longitudinal design allowed them to track how wellbeing changed over time, it meant that the participants weren’t in school during the Covid-19 pandemic, which could significantly impact teenagers’ social experiences and their future wellbeing. Additionally, the study was largely based on self-reported measures; future research might complement these with observational measures.

“I want teens to know that they aren’t alone,” said Shah. “It’s not easy being a teenager in this world, and I choose to believe that teens are doing the best that they can with the skills that they have. I hope that adults who interact with teenagers consider sharing that perspective, to hold space for empathy and compassion.”

“It’s always helpful to keep in mind that studies such as this point to things that happen on average, and that things could be different for any individual child or teenager,” observed Szwedo. “This study reinforces the importance of caregivers being aware of their children’s social lives by talking to their kids, talking to their teachers, and knowing who they are talking to online. It’s helpful for parents to not only ask about who their teens’ friends are, but also how socially accepted they feel.” 

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